So, You've Been Caught Out.

Naughty, naughty you. You borrowed your sister's favourite white dress and spilled chocolate sauce down it. You kissed your friend's ex two days after they broke up. You made bitchy remarks online about someone who is supposed to be your friend. And now you've been found out, and that stupid decision is coming to bite you in the arse.

If you're particularly unlucky, this wrongdoing of yours will land you on the Jeremy Kyle show, where your Mum, brother, the postman, and your best friend's aunt's hamster will be there to shriek at the top of their lungs about your misdeeds. Thankfully, that isn't very likely, but it is perfectly possible to hold your head up high and retain good friendships and relationships even after you've messed up.

I'm here to show you how to handle these moments of strife - just call me Jezza!

Tip 1: Own the fuck up
Don't deny it. It was you. There's probably proof: the chocolate stained dress, the photo of the moment you locked lips at the party, the screenshot of your insulting texts. Like the results of any of Jeremy's lie detector tests, if you deny your guilt and evidence then gets waved in your face, you'll just look even more silly, and a packed studio audience will probably boo at you. Instead, own your action and say "yes, I did that thing, it was wrong of me, and I am sorry."

Tip 2: No ifs or buts
A real, meaningful apology contains no ifs or buts. "I'm sorry IF this upset you", "I'm sorry BUT I thought this was ok" are not sincere apologies and will likely lead to further argument. Don't try and excuse your actions. People will respect you way more if you just apologise genuinely, in a heartfelt way, without reservation.

Tip 3: Don't blame others
If you did a bad thing, that's on you. It may be tempting to pass the buck, but try not to. Immediately blaming someone else as soon as you are confronted will just make you look childish and immature, as well as potentially ruining your relationship with the person that you are accusing. 

Tip 4: Zip your lip
The very worst thing that you can do if someone confronts you about something you've done wrong is to scream and shout and swear at them. Hold your tongue for a moment and when you do speak, remain calm. Throwing insults and accusations of your own around isn't going to do you any favours. It might make for good TV but trust me, it's not worth it.

Tip 5: Forgive yourself!
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Yes, you did wrong. But beating yourself up about it isn't going to help. If you've apologised and tried to make amends, you needn't haul yourself over the coals about bad things you've done in the past. Everyone has done things that they regret (myself included!) but you can leave them in the past and start afresh. Look on the bright side - whatever you've done wrong, and no matter how bad it seems, at least you dont have fleas!

Until next time,

A x

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